Several months before my mom’s birthday, I reached out to my host at Bellagio inquiring about a two-bedroom suite for a couple of nights, fully anticipating at least some out-of-pocket expense. It took a number of weeks but after a lengthy approval process, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it’d be comped.

The trip started out with the highest of highs. Upon landing, I was surprised to learn I scored the lone Rolls Royce Phantom in Bellagio’s fleet. Mom told the driver there’d be no need to call ahead for a bellhop. I had to interject: “Mom, when this car pulls up, every cell phone will be ready waiting to photograph whoever gets out. There’s no way I’m going to be seen lugging my own crap.”

Sure enough, the phones were out in droves and I disappointed the masses with my arrival.

Check-in was in the VIP lounge and unfortunately, it was right back to [relative] reality. Despite confirming several weeks prior that I’d be in the main tower, there were tons of far bigger players in town and it became evident I was bumped to the spa tower.

Don’t even start with me on the merits of the spa tower. It’s about as close to the action as Los Angeles and my 70-year-old mom would prefer not to rent a scooter.

I asked to pay out-of-pocket for a Penthouse or Grand Lakeview—anything in the main tower with two bedrooms. The VIP representative got on the phone with management for several minutes but to no avail. My only consolation: the room was freshly remodeled and I’d be the first guest to experience it. Thinking about the VegasSnob exclusive, I surrendered to this outcome… and I’m not sure it was for the best.

Common Areas

From the moment I stepped into the elevator, it became clear this wasn’t a remodel of just soft finishes—everything had been gutted and redone. The hallways are drop-dead gorgeous.

Unfortunately, a renovation of this level is bound to have some teething problems. The ice machine on my floor didn’t work which typically wouldn’t be a big deal but the elevators are key access; I couldn’t get to any other floors to get to a working machine.

Living Room

The living room gives a magnificent first impression. Patterns and textures are bold but colors remain muted creating a space that’s far more tasteful and restrained than the last suite remodel.

The depth and detail of this renovation—the white piping on the sofa that complements the plaid carpet, for example—is something rarely seen at this level of room outside of Wynn. Smart use of the space makes the suite feel much larger than the 1530 square feet advertised. West-facing windows provide views of stunning sunsets.

The natural stone on the wet bar contrasts beautifully against the carpet. They had yet to add a fridge to this remodel.

Art adorns the suite and offers ample opportunity to break something and lose your deposit.

The guest bathroom off the entry foyer is stark in color but its textures make it no less stunning.

Bedrooms

Two nearly identical bedrooms are on separate sides of the living room. The color scheme and patterns continue from the living areas. The headboard that ensconces the nightstands is one of my favorite design features.

The closet had robes and slippers, iron and ironing board, and a broken, unusable safe.

A can’t tell if this blue tape is an avant-garde design choice or just further confirmation that I’m definitely the first guest this newly remodeled suite has ever had.

“His” and “her” bathrooms are prevalent in Bellagio’s suites. “Her’s” comes with a deep soaking tub. Curiously, there’s a cocktail table in there if you’re a fan of your Grey Goose getting garnished with microscopic shit particles.

The Toto Washlet is divine and I was grateful to have a warm toilet seat to rest on for middle-of-the-night sit-down pisses.

I only wish the controls weren’t placed so far away. After morning poops, my blind ass had to get up to see where the “rear/soft” button was on the bidet function and then sit back down as quickly as possible to block the nozzle from firing a cleansing spray out to the ceiling.

“His” bathroom also features a Toto Washlet. This one had a mind of its own lifting its seat and cleaning itself at random times. I just assumed the suite was haunted by a ghost with diarrhea.

The steam shower is heavenly when you can figure out how to operate it. It would’ve been nice to have a small placard directing you to press both temperatures up and down buttons simultaneously to get the steam function running; I didn’t figure this out until shortly before check-out. Toiletries are nothing special.

The second bedroom and its respective bathrooms are nearly a mirror image of the first. The loveseat is traded for a small work desk.

Video

Unfortunately, on the final night of our stay, my mom was awoken by a leak in her bedroom’s ceiling. Towels were laid out and a waste basket placed below to prevent damage, but its slow drip kept her up all night.

I informed VIP but the problems were basically ignored. Then again, my bill had already been wiped from back-end comps and in that moment, I wasn’t even sure what compensation to expect. In truth, almost every employee was incredibly kind, I adore my host, and I still had a good time, but the same couldn’t be said for my mom; I wanted it to be perfect for her and it simply wasn’t.

A post-trip survey has been submitted and management reached out with “thanks for letting us know” but I’m not entirely sure I’ll be receiving any compensation. I’ll certainly update this post if I do.

Negativity aside, it’s an outstanding remodel and I look forward to when these suites make their way to the main tower. Bellagio’s VIP lounge—with its direct access to suite elevators, its underground tunnel for Villa guests, and the general privacy it affords—was the precursor to Wynn/Encore Tower Suites and was later shamelessly copied by Aria Sky Suites. When this remodel makes its way to the main tower and they work out the bugs, Bellagio will easily contend with and in many respects surpass its predecessors.

Until then, her and I are on hiatus.