Fleur de Lis. To some, its three spires symbolize the holy trinity. To others, it’s an emblem of noble heritage and purity embodied in the lily flower it depicts.
To me, it’s the latest spot in Las Vegas where I can get my rectum sprayed spotless by a Toto Washlet. Now nearly two years old, I was long overdue to give Fontainebleau’s ultra exclusive hotel-within-a-hotel a try.
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I recently spent a weekend at Fontainebleau comped in a Gold King Best Strip View and booked a second room for friends, a Gold Queen Best Mountain View, at a casino rate of $300 per night. I sampled as much as I possibly could over two nights and when I got home, hadn’t even unpacked before texting my host to set up a return trip.
It was that good.
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Several months before my mom’s birthday, I reached out to my host at Bellagio inquiring about a two-bedroom suite for a couple of nights, fully anticipating at least some out-of-pocket expense. It took a number of weeks but after a lengthy approval process, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it’d be comped.
Read MoreThe Donkey Dance was a relic of Vegas trips yore. I premiered it in an Encore Salon Suite one drunken evening in 2012. In subsequent years, my personal suites became a stage. Those who’d previously witnessed the spectacle played their role in hyping the performance to new-comers.
“You don’t know about the Donkey Dance?!”
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The number of original Roger Thomas interiors commercially available in Las Vegas currently sits at just 23. Now retired from decades of creating Steve Wynn’s most extraordinary spaces, Thomas’s rooms are an increasingly endangered accommodation requiring travel to Macau or Boston to readily stay in one. In Vegas, eighteen of them are locked down for Wynn’s most premium players and the other five are for people obsessed enough to justify paying several thousands per night. I fall among the latter.
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The most outrageous accommodations are always tucked away and inaccessible, practically kept secret from the vast majority of guests. At Crockfords, there’s no indication anywhere on property that such rooms even exist. The Villas and “Palaces”—a marketing term for their extra-large villas—are on the same floor as the pool. Their secret, key access-only corridor is easily missed.
I had every intention of going swimming, but I was drunk and in an exploratory mood. I approached the door that I suspected lead to the Villas and Palaces and slowly turned the door knob fully expecting it to be locked. Fortunately, with all the ongoing construction, key access had yet to be engaged.
*Click*
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I was one of Crockfords’s very first guests checking in less than two weeks after Resorts World opened. Hiccups were to be expected. Hard hats weren’t. Technical glitches are the norm the first weeks of operation. But ladders in guest room hallways? At times, I felt like a welcomed guest, at others, a nuisance in the way of construction of an entirely unfinished hotel.
At almost $400 per night midweek, I would’ve been less forgiving, but a week prior, I touched base with a host and sent her my MLife win/loss statements. She comped both nights plus round trip transportation. It made everything you’re about to read a little easier to digest…
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Sunday, 8:34pm, enjoying a nightcap with a friend outdoors during an unseasonably warm California evening. They say you’re not supposed to check your phone in social settings because, you know, you might receive an email that says…
Just finished a trip to Wynn this weekend and took some photos of the new room renovations… Would love to share them.
Instantly, my company that evening was worthless.
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Superlatives. It’s the nicest casino downtown but we already knew that. This place would reign high in Caesars’s portfolio, could slip comfortably into the upper echelon of MGM’s, and has Cosmo wow factor at every corner. It’s one of the nicest joints in Vegas; that’s the correct superlative.
Read MoreBe responsible. But just go.
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Vegas Snob 