Exclusive: Fuck Villas, Crockfords Got “Palaces”

The most outrageous accommodations are always tucked away and inaccessible, practically kept secret from the vast majority of guests. At Crockfords, there’s no indication anywhere on property that such rooms even exist. The Villas and “Palaces”—a marketing term for their extra-large villas—are on the same floor as the pool. Their secret, key access-only corridor is easily missed.

I had every intention of going swimming, but I was drunk and in an exploratory mood. I approached the door that I suspected lead to the Villas and Palaces and slowly turned the door knob fully expecting it to be locked. Fortunately, with all the ongoing construction, key access had yet to be engaged.

*Click*

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Everything Under a Stale Blanket: Crockfords and the Resorts World Experience

I was one of Crockfords’s very first guests checking in less than two weeks after Resorts World opened. Hiccups were to be expected. Hard hats weren’t. Technical glitches are the norm the first weeks of operation. But ladders in guest room hallways? At times, I felt like a welcomed guest, at others, a nuisance in the way of construction of an entirely unfinished hotel.

At almost $400 per night midweek, I would’ve been less forgiving, but a week prior, I touched base with a host and sent her my MLife win/loss statements. She comped both nights plus round trip transportation. It made everything you’re about to read a little easier to digest…

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Wynn Las Vegas Room Remodel: First Look

Sunday, 8:34pm, enjoying a nightcap with a friend outdoors during an unseasonably warm California evening. They say you’re not supposed to check your phone in social settings because, you know, you might receive an email that says…

Just finished a trip to Wynn this weekend and took some photos of the new room renovations… Would love to share them.

Instantly, my company that evening was worthless.

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The Two-Bedroom Skyloft at MGM Grand: Not Some Fuckass Marquee Suite

$1352. That was the nightly rate for a two-bedroom, 3000 square foot Skyloft at MGM Grand… for a weekend… my birthday weekend. Taxes, fees, everything. You usually can’t score that on weekdays, weekends hover closer to $2500, and even recessionary rates of ten years ago never got this good. And so, some ten months prior to my arrival, I kindly let MGM withdraw the first night’s deposit and locked something in.

But I also knew it wouldn’t be that easy…

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Encore Boston Harbor: Las Vegas, MA

Outside of Vegas, I try to get the most bang for my buck. California casino? Where I go is based on the deals I find rummaging through my inbox. Reno, Laughlin? If the whole thing’s not comped, forget it. Even during my one trip to Macau, the value proposition was at the top of my list.

But in Vegas, something special overcomes me. The moment I pull up to Mirage, or Bellagio, or Wynn, I don’t give a flying fuck about my wallet, bank account, or assets; for the next couple days, I’m living a goddamn fantasy. No other place in the world inspires careless frivolity and financial irresponsibility the way Vegas does.

“Hold my beer.”

-Encore Boston Harbor
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