Fleur de Lis. To some, its three spires symbolize the holy trinity. To others, it’s an emblem of noble heritage and purity embodied in the lily flower it depicts.
To me, it’s the latest spot in Las Vegas where I can get my rectum sprayed spotless by a Toto Washlet. Now nearly two years old, I was long overdue to give Fontainebleau’s ultra exclusive hotel-within-a-hotel a try.
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I recently spent a weekend at Fontainebleau comped in a Gold King Best Strip View and booked a second room for friends, a Gold Queen Best Mountain View, at a casino rate of $300 per night. I sampled as much as I possibly could over two nights and when I got home, hadn’t even unpacked before texting my host to set up a return trip.
It was that good.
Read MoreThe Donkey Dance was a relic of Vegas trips yore. I premiered it in an Encore Salon Suite one drunken evening in 2012. In subsequent years, my personal suites became a stage. Those who’d previously witnessed the spectacle played their role in hyping the performance to new-comers.
“You don’t know about the Donkey Dance?!”
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The most outrageous accommodations are always tucked away and inaccessible, practically kept secret from the vast majority of guests. At Crockfords, there’s no indication anywhere on property that such rooms even exist. The Villas and “Palaces”—a marketing term for their extra-large villas—are on the same floor as the pool. Their secret, key access-only corridor is easily missed.
I had every intention of going swimming, but I was drunk and in an exploratory mood. I approached the door that I suspected lead to the Villas and Palaces and slowly turned the door knob fully expecting it to be locked. Fortunately, with all the ongoing construction, key access had yet to be engaged.
*Click*
Read MoreBe responsible. But just go.
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This blog only gets updated when I’m inspired/excited/erect. And oh my, this little nugget has got me bustin’ through my speedo.
Limos, fancy dinners, and suites. Chock it up to the ultimate example of first world problems as we Vegas diehards routinely do the same things chasing the memory of how pleasurable these luxuries were the first time we experienced them. I’ll gladly continue this routine but I’m fully committed to the belief that the memories made from all the limos, fancy dinners, and suites the town has to offer pales in comparison to the shenanigans that seemingly develop organically with strangers. Read More
Vegas Snob 