Just Go: Ramblings on Vegas in the Era of COVID-19

Be responsible. But just go.

Because you can tell yourself that you’ll go after they ease restrictions, and when they do, you’ll see the inevitable upticks, and you’ll think twice.

Because you’ll tell yourself you’ll go when the vaccine is ready, except delays in distribution will disrupt your plans. Again.

Because you were about to go but got word that a friend of a friend got it while in town. What you didn’t hear was said friend of friend never washes his hands after using the bathroom.

We can’t win this right now. We probably won’t win this for another year. So be responsible, find a mask that’s comfortable, practice having it on the majority of the day, stay the fuck away from other people, and if you’re healthy, just go.

As my friend @D2tigerbaby said so eloquently, sometimes you just have to rip the band-aid off. If you don’t go now, you’ll continue to find statistics that’ll discourage you from going.

Valet was Noir only. I flashed the Plat, slipped the guy a Jackson, and parked it out front no problem.

When I stepped into Bellagio, panic. I hadn’t seen this many people since a convention I attended in January. My head started spinning, my heart racing. Then I got drunk.

You have to make reservations everywhere. I missed my Sadelle’s reservation by nine minutes. They wouldn’t seat me. I was too drunk to care.

I chugged a bottle of water by the pool and forgot to place my mask over my mouth. Security was courteous about it. They didn’t have to be. I was too drunk to be offended.

I pulled up to a plexiglassed pai gow table. It sucked for about five minutes. Then I got drunk. Then we started making money. Then we bumped so many elbows, fists, and high fives against the glass to warrant tipping the cleaning crew after we cleaned house. And of course I washed my hands after.

All glassware outside of bars and restaurants is plastic. That doesn’t change the alcohol inside it.

Be courteous but get drunk enough to have the courage to respectfully tell people that you’d like the elevator capacity limited. Everyone will be understanding; most everyone wants the same.

Moral of the story: it’s the same Vegas if you’re drunk enough.

All the doors had switched to motion sensors. They made a hell of a display cleaning every surface. I welcomed the welcome packets that included masks, generous amounts of sanitizer, and my personal favorite, bottle opener/door opener/elevator button pusher/brass knuckle. Use it.

The city loves you. The rates are better, the comps are better, and your tips go further. There’s less smoke in the air.

There’s. Fewer. Kids.

Just go (but maybe stay away from grandma and grandpa for a couple weeks after).

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