MGM Grand: It’s Time to Get MGM’d

I recently visited MGM Grand, a property I’d only ever had fond memories of but had not stepped foot in since indulging in 16 courses at the fancier of the two Robuchon restaurants over a decade ago. A relic of early 90s family-era Las Vegas, MGM’s theme celebrated classic Hollywood glamor. Having booked a two-bedroom Skyloft and several standard rooms for a potential birthday trip, I figured I’d walk through on a little reconnaissance mission—what will the table minimums be like for my friends and I, how are the public spaces holding up, and do I even like being here?

I took the pedestrian bridge from New York New York and was stunned upon entering: MGM is now a massive shithole. Yes, they care about updating their amenities—restaurants look great, rooms are solid enough, the pool is still a contender—but the casino itself looks like the kind of shabby movie theater Pee-Wee Herman got arrested in for yanking his dick.

This joint’s theme did not age well.

The table games sections are crowded and disorganized. The atmosphere feels akin to the neighborhood cinema you used to go to as a child that should have long been shuttered but is now a casual hangout for sex offenders/people in trench coats. I can’t seem to understand how MGM can update nearly everything and yet let the casino degrade into a dollar theater/cum depository. And don’t tell me it’s because food and beverage drop has overtaken casino—overpriced restaurants, overpriced drinks, overpriced nightclubs, overpriced shows, and overpriced shops get big business from the occasional winner feeling loose with their winnings. But why would anyone want to gamble at a casino that looks like it serves popcorn self-buttered with splooge?

Take a jackhammer to this place. Please.

“You’re an asshole!” says the reader oblivious that he’s reading Vegas Snob. Look, I’m not saying there isn’t room on the strip for a semen splattered cinema theme. If there were ever a place for a casino fashioned after a silver screen sperm bank, Vegas is the spot. But maybe a den of one-armed and one-handed bandits should consistently be $50-$100 per night less than a Mirage or Mandalay Bay.

Perhaps MGM wants to hang on to its roots but this classic Hollywood Art Deco to blow your wad in isn’t working. Disagree with me? Let me just look you up.

MGM Resorts, do to MGM what you did to Mirage. I promise there’s nothing I’ll miss. Give a little love to the casino and make it look less cummy.

4 comments

  1. hail2skins · April 28

    Damn Mike! Like you, I haven’t been in MGM in quite some time. I remember the place having somewhat of a “never-ending” feeling due to its size, but always thought it was a decent casino floor. Things must’ve really deteriorated if its as bad as you say.

    I, like you, prefer table games and remember when the Bellagio opened and the slots were there, but you barely noticed them. When Wynn opened, the slots were more prevalent but the casino still had a classy feel to it. I’m a low roller and have been a downtown player for some time now, but walk on the Strip and what I’ve seen on the casino floors has dismayed me somewhat. Was never personally a fan of how MGM redecorated the Mirage post-Wynn. A couple years ago I wandered through the Venetian and while they had made it a bit nicer than the warehouse feel it once had, the size of these new slot machines and electronic table games made the place seem like a big arcade. I’ve noticed this feel is starting to permeate Bellagio too, and don’t get me started on the disaster (IMO) that is the casino floor at Monte…..errr, Park MGM.

    Anyway, thanks for the post. Hope you’re able to find time to add more content on the blog…….your observations are fun to read!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. T-Money · April 29

    To each their own I guess, because I couldn’t disagree more. I still think the entrance from the strip is a bit awkward but they have announced plans to improve that. As for the casino, I still like it and I don’t have any issues with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jack · April 29

    I just got back from Vegas. Ironically, I walked through there thinking how dark and dismal the casino floor looked. I also didn’t like how many people just walk through where people are playing slots or table games. There are definitely better places to play in town.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: The Two-Bedroom Skyloft at MGM Grand: Not Some Fuckass Marquee Suite | Vegas Snob

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